Monday, November 17, 2014

My 10 Rules of Grief

  1. There are no rules.  Period.
  2. I will grieve my way.  Not your way.  My way may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t make sense to me either.
  3. The grief timeline is long.  If I begin to move on in two months, something is wrong.  If I begin to move on in two years, be impressed.  
  4. Hugs are, and always will be, better than words.  
  5. When you ask me how I am, I will always answer politely.  The truth is not pretty.  
  6. If I question my faith, do not condemn me.  It is normal.  
  7. Yes, I am blessed to have other children.  But the pain from losing one is worse than agony.  
  8. Consider me a patient of Grief United General.  The first part of my healing begins with a lengthy stay in the ICU.  Treat me accordingly.  
  9. Do not try to understand my overwhelming emotions.  It will exhaust us both.  
  10. Honor my pain by walking with me, not directing me.
  11. I am not a victim, I am grieving.  Treat my journey with respect and compassion, for your turn will come.
  12. I know this is more than 10 rules.  That’s because grief doesn’t ever make sense.
Reprinted with permission by Lynda Cheldelin Fell.  Copyright 2014 Grief Diaries Uncensored.  All rights reserved.

3 comments:

  1. For me... #7 would say: Yes I'm young but don't tell me I will find someone else. I can't imagine that right now.

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    1. I totally understand you on this one! I can not tell you how many times I have heard this and my husband has only ben gone for 6 months.

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  2. this is so true,, so many don't understand. They tell you to move on, quit being so dramatic, its been 4 years since I loss my 27 year old son, seem like yesterday, My husband passed July 15 of this year at age 58, My other son has issues, I which people would watch what they say.

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